What does everybody want for Christmas?

[Santa Claus]

Ho Ho Ho kiddos! Weeeeeeeelllllll what does everybody want for Christmas this year? I hope you have all been good girls and boys! Tell me what you want right now, so I can be sure to tell my elves to start making your presents right now! Be sure to leave plenty of cookies and milk for me Christmas Day! I love you all!

Love, Santa

[Boni Jergen]

:'(Dear Santa,
What a great idea for this Board!
What I want is a nother copy of Neil's album "Inside neil Hamburger" be cause the Dog (Marlon) chewed mine up (it's O.K. Marlon we love you any way)
Also I would like to have a new Couch (same reason! Dogs can be a lot of trouble but you have to Love them, they don't mean any thing by it, they need to exersise their jaws, and some times they pick the wrong thing to do that with.)
I would also Like a filing cabinet, I have colected over 12,000 news paper clippings and would like to keep them in some thing more secure other than buckets like they're in Now. Here is the filing cabnet I am looking for:

www.kmart.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=115423&No=0&Ntt=file+cabinet&Ntk=All&Nao=0&Ntx=mode+matchallpartial&N=0&Nty=1

but I would take any thing.
Also DENTAL WORK! That's expensnive. And of course Santa don't forget poor Marlon and Bananas they love Raw hide bone, bags of left over food (mexican or italian or what ever), NEW Flea collar, may be a nother Puppy would be nice (a Friend for them), or what ever, Santa, we'll take it all!

[blood pizza]

Boni...i was going to make some cracks about your
wishlist for Santa....but i think it speaks for itself!!
and besides the Holidays are a time for being nice
and forgiving those who may be a little, well.."special"
and i want some stuff from Satan too!... i better start
being nice so HE and Jesus can come over to my house
and we can celebrate the joy of being alive so that we
can be entertained by Neil AND you as well.....thanks for
everything BOni....HAPPY HOLIDAYS....can you forgive me
for being such an ass to you and bonanza and Marlon Brando?!!

[retard on board]

thats the gayest santa i've ever seen!...

[Boni Jergen]

I know it's only Novermber, but Christ mas Came early for Bananas and Marlon this morning!
A guy in our Apart ment who works at a 24-hour Denny's Restaurant in Phoenix, brought us a Big bag of mixed scrap foods (Mostly omeletes, hash browns, toast, stawberry pan cakes, ice cream, some pea soup, french fries, fried chicken) that got Wasted (THrown out) by the customers at Denny's, he got off work at 6 A.M. and there was a Whole bag of this Wasted food, and he had read the flyers I put on all the Apart ment doors in my complex on Wedneday asking for table scraps/un wanted Food (in case any one in the building worked at a Restaurant) all ready the Response has been Great, so now It's better, Bananas and Marlon had a Food Feast this morning and I"m freezing the rest of the bag in the freezer for a nother Day, there is aproximately 20 lbs. of Food here, thank you Chuck for bringing that by!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[RyanStamen]

BONI THAT IS SO GREAT! I bet both Marlon and Bananas are very happy. Be careful though, I know the eggs from Denny's are probably good for them (the protien will help make their coats very shiny) but I'd fish out all of the Chicken Fried Steak scraps, because the oil they use to fry those in can be harmful to dogs. I know this because my aunt is a pet doctor in Scottsdale.

But I did ask her about the Pot Pies for you and she said that they are perfectly fine to give to Marlon and Bananas, as long as they are limited to only three or four a day.

[CaptainEd]

Boni,

Hi Boni, longtime "lurker" just posting tonight for the first time to thank you for this online community and for being so giving of yourself. I used to work in a lab with animals where some foods was tested (colors etc). It was importance to balance the nutrition out according to protein etc. Its true that some things at Dennys will be better than others, just like humans. Eggs are always healthy, but the more "fried" things there are...well, just like with humans, you may want to go easy! (Believe me I know!)

Chocolates and onions are both bad for dogs, so you should investigate more closely whats in the bag to remove them. These foods can harm dogs. It can't be any fun to dig in the bag so if you want some unasked-for-advice I'd say call Dennys or put on your poster that you will not accept chocolate or onions, or too much deep-fried foods. Just sayin'! If I have intruded on a private matter I hope you say so! Either way have a great night if you read this! Good luck!

[Santa Claus]

Dear Boni,

Well that's a start! I am definitely going to be looking into getting those things for you and your precious doggies, all the hard work you do for Neil and his fans on this board don't go unnoticed.

We make a filing cabinet very similar to the K Mart model you showed me (thank you for the link and the illustration, you wouldn't believe how many kids bitch at me every damn year about small components or utterly insignificant tedium over their ungrateful greediness) So that really helps. If you want that exact model, I think I might have to send some of my elves to evasively steal the blueprint for that particular cabinet, you certainly deserve it.

If your teeth are really in bad shape, just go outside, turn towards the North (Pole), and please open your mouth very wide for me, this way I will be able to see through my magical telescope on whatever dire condition your teeth may be in, and act accordingly based on that, we might have to design you some partials, we will see. The telescope is how I "See you when you're sleeping, know when you're awake," from the famous Christmas song. Well, everybody else, tell me what you want, I'm going to go eat.

[kweef]

Santa, you old perv, are you sure that when crazy boni goes out and holds her mouth open, youre not gonna go stick your dick in itVIRUS Im gonna go watch porn.

[blood pizza]

HI Capt. ED....you sound like a nice guy, i'm a frequent
shit talkin' poster on this here board, along with kwefe
and many other characters. i'm glad that somebody else
is trying to reason with boni, on the potential harm that
crappy foods can have on animals, i have before, tried to express my concerns dealing with the matter, but she just wrote me off like i was an idiot!!!....sure i may have been crass in my delivery, but it really frustrates me when i read
about her feeding her dogs mexican, italian, etc. etc. table scraps!!! i try to live a healthy life style (except for my large consumption of alcohol)....and i feel that any person who loves animals as much as boni obviously does, would take the time to instill a proper nutritional diet for her beloved dogs........good bye for now

[Boni Jergen]

Blood Pizza, I must repectfully dis agree, this is not "Crappy" food I fed the Dogs, it's Good food, that cost a lot , if you buy it New. If the resaurant charges $9.95 for a plate of fettichini Alfredo and the guy who buys it only eat 1/2, that $5.00 worth of food. A can of Dog food is 49 cent. And try reading the Ingredient of THAT! some time. It's not a pretty list. Any Sane person would feed the Dog the more ex pensive food!!!

I listened to what Capatain Ed said (who I respect for bringing Calm to this Board) and so I picked out all the Onion and choco late from the frozen bag of Denny's food, and then micro waved the rest (It was hard to pick out all the choco late Ice cream because some of it melted with the Pea soup but I got most of it), now I ad mit it didn't smell so good be cause the food was all mixed, but most (not all) of this is Good food, even I would eat some of it (but not all), such as the Strawberry pan cakes.

Capatin Ed, please let me know if you know any thing about Chicken pot Pie and the health as pect, a lot of them on this Board "picking" on me about that, but I read the nutitional guide line, and those Pot Pies are much better for any one than Dog food, you should smell it if you open a Can some time, obviously that's not good to Eat, but what can you feed a Dog if not Can Dog Food or Pot Pies, every one, what would You feed a dog Mr. Blood Pizza,....LEAVES?

P.S. Bananas and Marlon LOVE LOVE LOVE the Swanson Chicken Pot pie, it's their Favorite, I could not, would not break their little Heart and take it away from them, twice a day, they are so Happy, I would not take it away only to replace it with Can Dog Food (rats and worse) or Leaves.

[blood pizza]

actually Boni, if you want a good, clean colon....
eat a 1/4 lb. of Bok Choi...and wait for the fireworks
the next day!!!...as far as what i would feed a dog!
it certainly would'nt be LEAVES silly....those are for
caterpillars!!

[Santa Claus]

Hey - thanks for using my Santa picture in this thread....

Love,
The Real Santa in this Thread

North Pole Entertainment
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

[thisisacomputer]

North Pole is not is Pennsylavanis, I wouldn't let any kids see this thread. I'm sorry.

[cuzinchuck]

Isn't it time for this again? We don't need a new thread even! I want to see Neil in Porltand Oregon for Christmas.