Neil Hamburger Advise Colunm

[Twinkle Great Idea]

Hi Pearls!, :-*Im sorry you were locked in, To that room.
That sound like a violation, of your comstitutional Rites. I would see a lawyer, for thtat. Maybe Al Shrapton. Hes good at thsoe things.
pearsl so you tweeter? i bet you are funny on there. Like Neil 8-)Or serious. And angry, At Injustice.

My New Idea is the BEST idea. It would be funny & seous & help many neil fans with porblems. It is avice column for Neil to anser questions.
Of the Lovedlorn. Of the Ditsgruntled. Angry co-workers, Torbled Loners. Pet haters, The Disinfranchised, The Happy Smiling Annoyers of Others.
COuld also be recipes, household tips, car maintenece, sex advice. Neil could do it all. He could make a monthly appearnace here. To Telll it Like it IS.
Pearls, Jimmi June, Jose Josse, Please contact Neil right away. These times is hard, neil need to capitalize, on the pain.

[Twyper]

Im sorry my typings is so bad. I can spell good but cant seem to get my letters in the rihgt order.

But it si still a great IDea!!!

[BoBo]

Why the hell doesn't anyone help the criminally insane, & parolees?
We need a fresh start.

[those jerks]

Because they don't deserve it.

[pearl its too hot TX]

I would of aksed Neil to do that, but someone else has to do it because Neil won't talk to me. Jimmie, do you have the connections? I think we would have to Deceive him, and tell him it was for some other board, probably.

Twinkle, do you think all of Neil's advice would be just to give up? I don't know, if you'are Despondent, it might not help. Sorry, I am not being very Psoitive .

But we do need house hold tips on this board. I been requesting that for years, but you arent going to get anything done around here. Unless it involve chewing up a shoe or something. Probably you could get a whole Couch chewn, if you was feeling ambitious.

[Twinkle Scared]

pearls thats funny what U said bc we were tlaking about olde books.
Do U think Neil could have a evil twin, or sufffer from Dr. Neil/Mr.Hyde symdrome?

because sometimes people says hes nice to fans & other times mean.
and throws things, yells, jumps up & donw.
I Seen 2 vresions of that movie, now I'm going to read the book.
that is a GOOD movie but I hope it is not true, aobut Neil.

[Trudie from Tennessee]

Dear Neil Hamburger Advice Column,
I have always been a well-adjusted, perfectly normal, financially successful, popular person. I give a lot of parties where people drink reasonably priced wine, never under $20 a bottle, but not too high.
Recently I have had difficulty adjusting to the fact that this column is not active.
It is beginning to cause a rift between me & my family, & I feel sudden urges to punch strangers who appear to be weirdos.
What should I do?

[not Neil]

Punch the weirdos. Or perhaps a simple slap will do the trick, but lead to fewer lawsuits/criminal charges.

Good luck!