Neil on Tim and Eric Tour

[show witness]

I saw Neil perfrom a short set and while he was on stage I ovulated

[Jaybert]

Did anyone else see the second Chicago show? That was really strange. Neil did most of the show brandishing a huge knife and threatening people from the stage. There were a few jokes but most of it was rage over some stolen food. I wonder if he is cracking up?

[ghengis khan]

Really!?? Great! I hope Neil stabbs more people, theoretically at least.

[output]

That's too bad. That Neils mind seem to be going.

Its hard on the road. Only micro wave, ice machine, blowdryer, coffee pot. If someone eats your Lance Crackers, or graped soda, You could Lose It.

Witness, Did you inpregnated, after the show? That would be like Neils stepchild.

[whiteness]

I hope not. I've been drunk 24 hour 7 since then

[Andy]

I saw them the other night and they sucked shit - all neil did was wildly pound his carrot until he blew a big wad right onto the stage. then the other two licked it up.. ;D It was a pretty lame show and I want my money back..

[Neil Fan]

Yesterday afternoon there was a fart. It came out of my asshole. There was also some gooey diarreah that sprayed out of my anus during the fart and completely saturated and soaked the entire back of my underwear and the seat of my pants... This would have been fine and perfectly acceptable if I wasn't in the library of the community college campus that I attend at the time... I felt a bit awkward and embarrassed at my little "outburst", but my depression soon turned to elation as I spotted a flyer on the wall of the cafeteria announcing that none other than Neil Hamburger himself was scheduled to perform in our auditorium at 8:00 p.m. that very evening! Well needless to say, I attended the show, and brought along my soiled underwear from earlier with me - I waited until just the right moment, and then threw them up at the stage, hitting Neil in the face, and smearing my slimy poo poo all over his chin... ;D Then, in true Tom Jones fashion, he breathlessly and sensuously wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with my poop-saturated banana-slingers, wrote down his hotel room # on the shit-stained crotch of my icky undies, and threw them back at me! FUCKING AWESOME!!!! I got so excited that I held the underwear high above my head in reverance, cocked my head back, opened my mouth wide, and wrung them out high above my head so that I could savor every last putrid drop of liquefied poop mixed with the greasy sweat that was wiped from his jewfro unibrow into my eagerly-awaiting mouth but, in the process, the ink that Neil had written down his hotel room # on had run, rendering it completely illegible!... I searched high and low and tried to do some "detective work" later to find out where Neil was staying, but to no avail... I guess that when a major celebrity like the Double Dog comes into town, security's bound to be so tight that it's probably gonna be next to impossible to get another chance to be alone with this guy... Oh well - what might have been..

[Billy Madison]

THE OTHER DAY ME AND NEIL WENT TO GO AND HAVE A PICNIC AND PLAY CATCH IN THE PARK.. AFTER THROWING THE BALL AROUND FOR A LITTLE WHILE WE GOT BORED SO WE DECIDED TO GO BEHIND THE BUSHES AND FUCK.. I SUCKED ON HIS LITTLE JEW COCK AND LICKED HIS BALLS AND ASSHOLE... THEN I STARTED TO STUFF FRANKFOOTERS UP HIS RECTUM AND THEN I GAVE HIM AN ENEMA AND THEN HE FARTED OUT GOOEY LUMPS OF DIARREAH MIXED WITH KETCHUP IN MY FACE - IT LEFT ME WANTING MORE! ;D

[Helen]

Finally, after years of outreach, we have the mentally retarded community actively involved with this board!

[pearlgrey]

This is the least offensive material that's been posted in this forum in months! Thanks for your input!

[Sandersgirls]

Interesting to see two of Madonna's dancers posting on the Neil Hamburger website. I hope the material girl likes all your material. Perhaps she'd like a turn of those underpants...since she's single again.

[RyanStamen]

PLEASE keep messages posted to this board about Neil Hamburger. This is only for NEIL HAMBURGER fans who want to discuss NEIL HAMBURGER.

I will suggest this website for you people who want to have gay sex with each other:

www.cruisinggays.com/Mesa/254/cruising_areas/

[Sandersgirls]

Hi Ryan, I visited that website you recommended and a very funny gentleman there asked me to "KNEEL" and perform a "HAMBURGER". I told him I don't do impressions, but he said I gave a good impression to him. So I am flying out to meet him on new year's. I asked him what to wear and he said "whatever suits", so obviously he has liked Neil since the 1990's and likes the red suits as much as the black suits. He said his friends would like to meet me, so it will be great doing my best Hamburger for a large group of enthusiastic men. He also mentioned that I won't "shit-right" for a week, so I assume that is a sobering warning about airline food. I told him I'll be bringing a packed-lunch and he seemed very happy to hear that.

[RyanStamen]

Sandersgirls,
That is great news that you will be coming to Mesa, AZ for the New Year! It sounds like you will have a place to stay with your new friends, but let's be sure and meet up with Boni for lunch at Hong Kong Best Gourmet at Southern and Dobson across from Mesa Communit College. We can all talk about NEIL related issues, away from the HORRIBLE people that come on this board for the sole purpose of RUINING NEIL and his CAREER!!!!!